I am finally free. Yeap, that's how I'm starting this blog post. Yesterday was the day that all my suffering ended. My master thesis is completed, I presented it (through Skype!) and... I am stuck at home. There is probably no reason for me to rumble on about the coronavirus, but it is a fact and the most trending topic. We are under quarantine here in Greece for some days now and we are all struggling to adjust. Never in a million years could I imagine that such a pandemic could actually happen! You are probably just as stunned as I am, but thought I’ d share. I fear for the worst I am not gonna lie. Since last year when I got sick (the sickest I have ever been in my life!) I am terrified to get sick again. I am super cautious, I wash my hands like a million times a day and I just hope for the best, since there is nothing much I can do. My days comprise of watching Netflix (just started the October Faction, seems really good) and YouTube of course, eating, playing puzzle games, eating (yes I already said that) and inevitably hearing the noise in my building (the neighbor has a lot of free time now and let's just say I don't think there's much wall left from all the holes).
However, I have found that these days have proven to be really helpful. Having so much free time got me into thinking. So much free time that I even wrote this blog post (hooray!). I have gone through a rough period these past months. I was so busy with my thesis and still had so much work to do before Christmas, that I decided it was best to quit my job and focus on finishing my master's, or I was going to lose a whole semester. I definitely do not recommend working and studying combined, my mental health is proof of that. I have never been more stressed in my life. I was crying a lot and I was tired. Even though I did not consult with a specialist (which I probably should have but I was lacking the courage), I am pretty sure I was depressed. Maybe I still am. But I had and still have my family and my boyfriend supporting me, when the road is rocky.
Thankfully that part is over. Buuut I am unemployed for the moment, which makes me feel confused because I don't know what I should do. I really love web development, but my experience with the company I was working at is something I don't want to live through again. I am not going to get deep into this, but, for the last two years I was working there, I usually felt unappreciated and treated like I was an intern. I know myself that I am a hard worker, I am competitive and I am not a quitter. So I know that I did not deserve such a behavior from my working environment. Sadly, and not to sound feminist, this is the reality for most women.
I am still figuring out what I want to be doing in life. Maybe it's programming, maybe it's not. I have even considered attending a baking school or opening a bakery. But for sure, I am never ever going to be studying again. And I am so happy. I feel liberated, I feel like I can do anything, I feel inspired. Suddenly all my burdens are lifted and I see life from a different angle. I am hungry for life and I cannot wait to live it (well, if we ever get to go outside).
And although I have no idea what's coming next I am confident that it's going to be ok, because the worst is past me.
See you soon,